"Once a cheater, always a cheater?"?

First, this is Nickers husband, not her. I am a cheater. I will say this. If somebody will cheat to be with you, they will cheat ON you. Every guy you are cheating with will keep that to the back of his mind. You can't have anything with him while he's aware of it. If you know what cheating is, cause you didn't say if you were cheating emotionally or physically, and just can't seem to stay off it, I offer my sympathy. It's hard to walk away from 5 years, but it would be harder for him to lose five years and he didn't do anything. I think you should try to make it up to him and try to get help. I don't know if you are addicted to the feelings, or if you feel incomplete in some way. If you are an addict you can go to aholics anonymous.